I've had a lot of people reach out to me over the past few months and ask me for advice. HOW did I do it? What help could I give them? And all I have to say is this: life is short and you deserve to be in love with your life. You deserve to be in a relationship that you feel safe, protected, loved and desired. You deserve to be with someone who makes you a better person. You deserve to be with someone who can calm you and ground you. You deserve to be with someone who knows your worst of the worst and loves you anyway. You deserve to be with someone who pushes you to dream bigger, to be more, to be anything you want.
You deserve to have a partner in life. A partner is someone who quite literally is the yin to your yang. Who takes care of you, takes care of the people around you and allows you to do the same. Your partner is on your team. You're working toward the same goals, and you have the same big dreams and values. When you find a person who can be your partner, you can feel it deep in your core. It just fits and makes sense.
If you're married - I know how hard marriage is. How hard it is to make time for each other. You're in the trenches of LIFE! There are bills and babies and a million things consuming you. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take your spouse for granted. Find small ways to connect every single day. Put the phones down, turn off the TV. Put some music on, have a glass of wine (or tea!) after the kids go to bed and TALK. Make the other person your priority. Do something for the other person on a daily basis, even something as small as making their morning coffee or picking up their dry cleaning. When you're in the day to day trenches, the smallest things mean the most. Believe me, I know from experience. If you haven't yet, read the book "The Five Love Languages" and take the quiz with your partner. It's a really sweet way to connect and start a conversation about what you can each be doing for the other to make them feel loved and valued.
If you're single - please don't settle. It's easy to settle. We want someone to share our life with, and we want to get married and start families. Wait for the right person. I promise you that it is so worth it. They will be worth it. I was 25 when I met my ex-husband. And I did love him. He is/was a good guy. I wanted to get married and I wanted babies, and I thought he was the right one. Fast forward five years, and life and a baby later and there was something missing. And we both knew it. I will always love him, after all he gave me the greatest gift - he made me a mother - but it wasn't enough. Leaving was scary. But I knew we were both settling and that we both deserved more. I found it, and I hope and pray he does too. And I pray you do too!! Marry someone who makes you weak in the knees, who makes you laugh, who fights fair and who adores you. He/She is out there, I promise you that.
And yes, today is Valentine's Day and your social media feeds are probably going to be full of people showing off the flowers/candies/jewelry etc that their partners gave them. If you are not one of those people, don't feel bad. Social media never tells the whole story (again, ask me how I know!!). Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight. Happy "Love" Day!
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