Today is the FIRST DAY OF FALL! Queue all the falling leaves, apple and pumpkin emojis! 

Don't get me wrong - I am from Hawaii, which means that I love warm weather and summer and the beach and wearing flip flops. But there is something about a crisp fall day that I just LOVE! This weather makes me want to bundle up in a cozy sweater with a cup of coffee by the fire and watch football!

Here is our fall 2019 bucket list! 

Jump in a pile of leaves 

Go apple picking

Take family photos

Decorate the front porch

Visit a pumpkin patch and carve pumpkins

Get lost in a corn maze

Take a weekend trip to the mountains

Watch "Hocus Pocus" at least five times

Bake pumpkin-anything

Choose Halloween costumes

Recreate Starbucks Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew coffee

Make a Gratitude list 

Family game night

Camp out by the fire

Visit the Topsfield Fair

DIY crafting 

What's on your list?? Am I forgetting anything?

Recap: San Francisco and Sonoma Trip!

Y'all, I had one of the BEST weekends of my life last weekend! Pete and I went to the Bay Area for a long weekend, and it was amazing. It was so much fun, but also very chill and relaxing. Diving into the recap now!

We were booked on a 6pm flight out of Boston Friday night, but thanks to things like snow (here) and fog (in Denver, where our plane was coming from), we didn't end up taking off until 11:20pm!! We got to the airport at 5pm, and literally ate and drank for the next six hours! Then our non-stop flight was diverted to Salt Lake City to refuel around 3:30am. We finally landed in San Jose at 5:05am PST, which meant we had spent 15 hours in the airport/flying. We were SO exhausted!!

And this wasn't even the last update! 

We picked up our rental car (thankfully the rental place opened at 5:30!), and then drove an hour to San Francisco. We were staying with one of Pete's best friends from college, his wife and their adorable 8 month old son. We had plans to go wine tasting in Sonoma and needed to leave at 8am! We had time to shower, get dressed, grab a coffee and then we were in the car for the two hour drive to Sonoma.

Check out those Toms booties! 

I have been to Napa once before, but never Sonoma, so I was super excited! Plus, I love wine! And what better way to deal with no sleep + jet lag then drinking wine at 10am? :) It had been rainy all week, but the weather cleared up really early in the day and we had gorgeous weather. It was sunny, clear blue skies, and temps neared 70. It was heaven!

Hawkes Winery

We went to six wineries: Hawkes, Foley Sonoma, Ridge, Lambert Bridge, Macrostie and Copain. Pete was already a member of Ridge (LOVE their wine!), and we had such an incredible tasting at Lambert Bridge that we became members there too! After Lambert Ridge, we had a picnic lunch and I pretty much cut myself off for the rest of the day! We clearly had such a good time at LR, because I have absolutely NO photos! And I will say that, while I didn't try any wine, the tasting at Copain was absolutely beautiful, and the property was gorgeous.

Hawkes 

"You have a baby .... in a winery!" He was such a good sport all day! @Foley Sonoma 

Outside of Macrostie 

Foley Sonoma 

@Macrostie 

@Copain - check out the view behind us! 

Ridge 

Ridge 

"Uncle Pete, save some for me!" @Ridge 

I learned a lot about wine - how to store it, how long it should age for and why, and about the different varietals. It was a really fantastic day!

We had planned to go to dinner Saturday night at their favorite sushi place, but Pete and I fell asleep for a "nap" and were so tired, we slept right through our dinner reservation!

Sunday morning, we slept in and had a super chill, low key and relaxing day. His friends live in a great community in South San Francisco, so we took the dog for a walk and got coffee first thing. Then we had brunch with a few more of their friends from college - and we had the most amazing quiche I've ever tasted! I took another nap in the afternoon, and then we had dinner reservations at 5pm in Sausalito. Sausalito is one of the cutest seaside towns just on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge and Sushi Ran known for the super fresh, tasty and creative sushi. If you are ever in the area, I highly suggest checking them out. I am not (yet) super adventurous when it comes to sushi, but since this was the place to try it, I really stepped out of my comfort zone and tried things I never would have before! We also split a bottle of Sake - somehow this was my first time ever having Sake!

Oh just casually taking the dog to the corner grocer to buy more Prosecco! 

Aji Tataki - a kind of fish that you literally eat the entire thing! 

We got up early Monday morning to drive south back toward San Jose. We had an 8am meeting at Tesla! One of our former employees went to work for Tesla back in October, and it was nice to see him, catch up and see the factory. The guys talked shop and I just admired and took it all in. I've never been in an auto factory before, and Tesla is one to watch, so it was a really cool experience! We unfortunately weren't allowed to take any photos on the floor, but it was really amazing seeing the technology and all of the pieces coming together.

After completely screwing up my flight home, I realized that Monday was actually my last day of vacation :( I had planned to pick up my own rental car after our Tesla meeting and break off from the guys. Pete was continuing on to Pebble Beach with a couple of his guy friends who had flown in Monday morning, for their annual guys golf trip. And I was going to drive north to Sacramento to see a couple of my girlfriends. After realizing my flight was at 10:45pm, I knew I didn't have time to go to Sacramento and back :( So thankfully, our friend Stacie (dating the former employee who now works for Tesla) was around and free, so her and I spent the afternoon together. Being as how the weather was 74 degrees and absolutely gorgeous, we opted to get outside and go for a hike! We did a 4.7 mile hike near their house along the bay, doing lots of girl talk and catching up. The views were  stunning. (Also, two days later, and my legs are still killing me! haha!)

We went to dinner and got ice cream before I headed back to the airport to head home! It was a quick trip, and I'm definitely still exhausted and jet-lagged, but such a great time. It was the perfect vacation to take right before going back to work full-time! California will always have a piece of my <3!

*Linking up with Annie for Thoughts for Thursday!*

the demon within

Remember me? It's been awhile - almost two months! I guess you could say that I've been suffering from writers block. Well, maybe that's not entirely true. I have plenty of topics swirling around in my head, but I just couldn't seem to get complete thoughts onto a screen.

To be honest, ever since my divorce, I've been struggling really badly with anxiety and depression. Anxiety is something I've dealt with for many years, but I thought I had finally gotten a handle on it. I guess going three of the major life stressors in a three month span is enough to send anyone spiraling.

Thankfully, with the help of talk therapy, tweaks to my medication and an incredibly amazing support system, I am back on track and feeling more and more life myself. I used to be embarrassed by my diagnosis. After all, on the outside I looked and seemed fine. Explaining life with an anxiety disorder to someone who's never felt it, is difficult. So I would chose to keep quiet and pretend that I was okay, rather than try to make an explanation. It's this big black cloud that follows me around and takes over my thoughts and clouds my ability to think rationally. My anxiety has cost me a lot of things over the years because taking care of it is a lot harder than you could imagine. It's an internal battle that I fight everyday.

Lately though, I've been a lot more open about my struggles. I realize that the only way to change the stigma of emotional disorders, is to talk about it. Put it out in the open. And I am realizing that there are more people just like me, struggling in silence.

I want to talk more about this on the blog, especially since writing is one of my better therapies. I've always loved writing and used to dream of being an author. Who knows, maybe one day I still will be!

If you are struggling with anxiety, depression or feelings of loneliness .... you are not alone. Here are some things that have really helped me.

1) Meditation - I do grounding exercises in the midst of a bad anxiety attack. Find five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Focusing on these things can help to regulate your heart and breath. If it's a really bad episode, I do it several times until I am calm.

2) Exercise - Exercise is the one thing that always and without fail helps me feel better. If I can't get to the gym, I pop in a workout DVD. I can feel myself calming and my thoughts quieting. Not to mention that it provides major physical relief.

3) Supplements - My favorite is Nature Calm. I get it at WholeFoods, but it's also available on Amazon. It's a magnesium supplement, that helps calm me. It also makes me sleepy, so taking it before bed ensures a good nights sleep!

4) Journaling - Sometimes putting a pen to paper and talking over the anxiety is so helpful. I get the thoughts out of my head, and onto paper where I can better control them. I can think about them more rationally, and often times feel a hundred times better after!

5) Therapy - I use online therapy through a site called BetterHelp.com - I LOVE it. I pay for a unlimited counseling sessions. I can message my therapist every day, and he responds within hours. We also schedule weekly "live chats" - but you can do a video or phone call too. I was lucky to get matched to an amazing therapist and he's been crucial to my progress.

I know that I will never be "cured" and that there is no magic pill that will make it all go away. But by being aware, knowing my triggers, communicating them, asking for help and continuing with my therapies, I will get 95% of the way there. And you know what, that's good enough for me :)

*This was a really vulnerable post for me to write, so thank you for listening and for your support!* 

Friday Favorites

Happy Friday! Today's post is kind of a ramble of things going on with us lately and life updates!

one) my sister is getting married at the end of April, and they are have a small, family affair (TOTALLY the way to go, btw!) and so I rented this dress from Rent the Runway to wear. I LOVE RTR. You can find really affordable options, and the dresses are so pretty! This one was only $40.

two) I didn't do a Valentine's Day recap, but we had a super low key night. I honestly could care less about Valentine's Day, and am pretty lucky to have someone who makes every day feel like a holiday <3, but I love holidays for Gracie's sake. I surprised her at school with a bouquet of flowers and a festive cupcake. Pete cooked us dinner - he sure can cook!!! - and it was delish!

three) Ever since we got back from Minnesota, we've been trying to eat healthier. We didn't feel it was necessary to try anything like keto or Whole30, and instead we've just been focusing on portion control, not eating carbs, more fruits and veggies, less alcohol, and not eating late. We both feel really awesome! We are still doing Meatless Mondays and we eat a TON of fish, especially salmon!

four) And in line with eating healthy, we joined the Y this week! My anxiety has been really bad lately, and I'm not liking how I feel on the medication I'm taking, so I'm trying to see if exercising helps improve my anxiety and moods. I'm challenging myself to workout every day for 30 days. Today is day four, and I feel REALLY good!

Day three workout DONE!

five) I was in Target the other day and was looking at the items from their new line "Universal Threads" and I totally fell in love with these booties!!! They remind me of these Vince Camuto booties, at a fraction of the price! And they are super comfortable, I'm obsessed with them :)

I hope y'all have a great weekend!! XO!

Not Settling - Happy Valentine's Day

I've been thinking about writing this for a long time, and today I want to talk about settling, or more accurately, NOT settling. This is a post if you're married, single, or somewhere in between. If you don't know who Sylvester McNutt is, look him up on Instagram and buy his book here. I love his words of encouragement and wisdom!

I've had a lot of people reach out to me over the past few months and ask me for advice. HOW did I do it? What help could I give them? And all I have to say is this: life is short and you deserve to be in love with your life. You deserve to be in a relationship that you feel safe, protected, loved and desired. You deserve to be with someone who makes you a better person. You deserve to be with someone who can calm you and ground you. You deserve to be with someone who knows your worst of the worst and loves you anyway. You deserve to be with someone who pushes you to dream bigger, to be more, to be anything you want.

You deserve to have a partner in life. A partner is someone who quite literally is the yin to your yang. Who takes care of you, takes care of the people around you and allows you to do the same. Your partner is on your team. You're working toward the same goals, and you have the same big dreams and values. When you find a person who can be your partner, you can feel it deep in your core. It just fits and makes sense.

If you're married - I know how hard marriage is. How hard it is to make time for each other. You're in the trenches of LIFE! There are bills and babies and a million things consuming you. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take your spouse for granted. Find small ways to connect every single day. Put the phones down, turn off the TV. Put some music on, have a glass of wine (or tea!) after the kids go to bed and TALK. Make the other person your priority. Do something for the other person on a daily basis, even something as small as making their morning coffee or picking up their dry cleaning. When you're in the day to day trenches, the smallest things mean the most. Believe me, I know from experience. If you haven't yet, read the book "The Five Love Languages" and take the quiz with your partner. It's a really sweet way to connect and start a conversation about what you can each be doing for the other to make them feel loved and valued.

If you're single - please don't settle. It's easy to settle. We want someone to share our life with, and we want to get married and start families. Wait for the right person. I promise you that it is so worth it. They will be worth it. I was 25 when I met my ex-husband. And I did love him. He is/was a good guy. I wanted to get married and I wanted babies, and I thought he was the right one. Fast forward five years, and life and a baby later and there was something missing. And we both knew it. I will always love him, after all he gave me the greatest gift - he made me a mother - but it wasn't enough. Leaving was scary. But I knew we were both settling and that we both deserved more. I found it, and I hope and pray he does too. And I pray you do too!! Marry someone who makes you weak in the knees, who makes you laugh, who fights fair and who adores you. He/She is out there, I promise you that.

And yes, today is Valentine's Day and your social media feeds are probably going to be full of people showing off the flowers/candies/jewelry etc that their partners gave them. If you are not one of those people, don't feel bad. Social media never tells the whole story (again, ask me how I know!!). Don't compare your life to someone else's highlight. Happy "Love" Day!

Five on Friday

Woohoo, we made it to the weekend! Let's take a minute to have a dance party to celebrate!

I have been working from home this entire week + it's bitterly cold outside, so I feel like I am going a little bit stir crazy!! I am planning a work-from-home post soon because as fun as it sounds, it's sometimes not very fun and requires good time management and organization.

Ok on to my five favorites for the week!

1) I posted about this on Insta the other day .... I'm addicted to chlorophyll water. I found out about the magic of chlorophyll from The Skinny Confidential, and decided to pick up this bottle from WholeFoods. It's $12.99 and has 32 servings - I'm assuming if you take it twice a day. I put two tablespoons in a big tumbler of ice and cold water, and then before bad I take a shot of one tablespoon. I think I'm sleeping better and feeling more energized. And the mint flavor is yummy. Read here for more benefits!

2) Detox foot pads - I don't know where I heard about these, but I saw them at TJMaxx last week and decided to pick up a package for $4.99 and try them out. I hate sleeping with anything on my feet, so I didn't LOVE that part, but in the morning, my pads were BLACK. Supposedly this meant that my liver needed a good detox (yikes, must be all that wine!). But, I felt amazing. I literally jumped out of bed at 6am. I am not a morning person, so that does not ever happen to me! You can also find a ton of them on Amazon!

2b) Pete thinks I'm crazy that I'm doing both of these. He says he's going to think of something totally random to bottle and sell to schmucks like me .... hey, what can I say? I'm always down for trying something new!

3) I officially started school this week. And five days in, I am already so overwhelmed. It's super challenging but very time consuming. I need to somehow find room in my schedule for at least 2 hours a day of school work. I know that I just need to really tighten up how I spend my days, and get better at not wasting time on random things. I am determined to be successful and do well in this class no matter what it takes, so wish me luck!

A few essentials - blanket, coffee, laptop and headphones! 

4) We leave for Minneapolis in ONE week, and I cannot freaking wait. I'm stalking the weather like a psycho, and planning and re-planning all my outfits. I know it will be super cold, and I'm trying to pack everything into a carryon - ha, I guess we'll see how well I do with that!!

5) I'm obsessing over this Gucci cross body bag. She's so pretty!!!! I absolutely cannot justify this kind of purchase right now, but I think I'm going to make this my "goal" purse for when my debt is all paid off. That should be good motivation, right??

I hope you had a great weekend and will you see back here next week!

XO,
Gentel

Tuesday Food + Funny: Week Two

Good Morning friends! This is a late post today, because I chose to go to bed early last night instead of staying up and finishing my post .... priorities, right?

I hope you all had an amazing weekend! We are still on such a high after that Patriots v. Jaguars game! I think I held my breath the entire game, and I don't think I have ever wanted a WIN more than I did that game - and I still can't believe that I'm going to see the Patriots in the SuperBowl!!! Ahhh!